Chondrosarcoma – ah shit, bob's sick

This is one of the hardest things I’ve done in my 56 years of life.  It comes in 3 stages kind of, or at least it did for me. Some of it … I just couldn’t do. Luckily for me, my spouse offered … and that was unbelievably helpful and something I will not forget as long as I live.

My first reaction was that I didn’t want to tell anyone I knew, whether friend, family, folks at work, children …. even the local folks in the grocery store and places like that. We live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, so its impossible to keep quiet for any length of time. I don’t know why I didn’t want to tell people … maybe it was fear of rejection, or losing friendships and acquaintences. I really can’t say why … but it is the way I felt.

Getting down to business:

First off, there’s your friends and folks at work.  One of the odd things about this, is that I had just started a new job … and when I say just … I mean like 2 weeks into it. The folks where I work were so nice even just to hire me … so it felt really awkward. I didn’t know these folks and here I am telling them that I can no longer do the job I was hired for … man, I was scared … but I had to do it.

Then I had my friends. Being a programmer, business owner, artist I have had dealings with lots and lots of people online. I like to keep in touch with folks when they move away or switch jobs … you know, you end up with a slew of friends all around the globe these days.

I am a person who values his friendships … once a friend, always a friend. Even if I don’t speak or write to someone for a year or two it doesn’t mean our friendship is gone …. it’s understood. Friends are friends.

But, as friends and co-workers  started to hear the news of my diagnosis, I was surprised at how easily and wonderfully they accepted it. My co-workers, even though I hardly knew them, reached to help and help in a big way. My friends did the same. As a matter of fact, I recieved so much help and offers of help, that I just couldn’t believe it. I thank them all, and love them all for it.

August 15, 2009

We had an interesting day today. Sher and I took Alberic (11 yrs. old) to see the Cancer ward at Dartmouth Medical Center in Lebanon, NH. This is probably where I’ll be treated.

We simply walked around the hospital and explained that this is where I’ll (Dad) will be staying. We also stopped and got some cookies. He had the opportunity to see some other patients walking around. I don’t want him to be afraid of this place … and to understand and be as comfortable as possible when coming to visitme. After all, I may be in the hospital for as long as 9 weeks. Thats a long time for a little kid.

Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center