I Just Want To Celebrate: Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Today was another fine day, went for treatments around noon time and Doc grabbed me out of the waiting room as he was passing by, and we went for an unscheduled, basically informal chat, about my case. I told him I was feeling much better then I had been in the past week. My appetite was back, I’m sleeping normally, and that my energy levels were returning, or at least that’s what I was feeling like.
Again we went through the verbal process about expectations, and I clearly stated that I was fully aware of what to expect. I told him I wasn’t looking for anything more then to walk out of the Proton Center feeling no different then when I walked in, but knowing that the cancer was, for the time being, not growing any worse. He nodded his head as if to say ‘that’s right’, and then gave me this information.
“You know, a lot of people say they ‘beat the cancer’, … don’t listen to them, they didn’t. You never really beat cancer. It’s equivalent to being on a sinking ship, getting rescued, or making it back to shore, and saying ‘I beat the ocean’ … it’s just not really true. We never beat cancer, but we can hold back, and sometimes for the rest of a persons life”.
I thought about those words for the rest of day though. Then we proceeded to talk about the future, and how the continuation of testing was going to be done. He took out a schedule he had already made, and began to explain that several types of scans would be needed every six weeks for the next four months, and then once every three months for 2 years, and then once every six months for two more years, and if I make it through that …. once a year for life. That’s not bad.
I need to have several types of scans done beginning at the end of treatment, Position Emission Tomography, CT scans, MRI’s and X-rays. Without going into a huge explanation of these about these scans, the important one seems to be the P.E.T. scan. It measures blood flow, oxygen use, sugar (glucose) metabolism, and I believe nitrogen, which tells the Doc if the tumor areas cancer is currently active or not. Traces of glucose and nitrogen in the tumor are not good things for me, that means it’s still snacking on my blood and possibly growing … not necessarily growing … but at least alive. That’s the “got cha” in my case.
He also told me the reason I had IMRT scans first was, that he didn’t want to wait any longer to treat me. They are not as effective as Proton for this type of cancer but, much better then waiting with nothing happening. The Proton machine is in such demand that booking time on it is almost impossible. Only four in the US at the moment, with 4 more being built or in the planning stages. The demand is so much higher then the four hospitals can even start to cover. After being treated on this … I can understand why. There is no effect at all … so close to Star Trek medicine you just wouldn’t believe it.
The last thing we talked about was staying or laying perfectly still during treatment. I thought I had been, but he showed me a scan taken of the target area outlined in blue, that represented the target to be hit, the same picture also had a red outline, that represented where they actually hit with the protons. They were not aligned, less then two millimeters off. He said that was good … but hoped we could do better. I suggested that they have a low bell ring a few seconds before firing, so that the patient actually knows it coming, I could hold my breath for that 3 secs while it releases the protons. He looked at me and said “hmmm” … and that was that.
My point was, that there’s no way to know when it’s actually releasing the protons at you … no sound change, no lights flashing … nothing, Simply breathing in and out can cause 5-6 millimeter fluctuations in the height of your body to the barrel … makes sense to me. Give a warning.
It was good to hear Doc even mention testing plans five years down the road … I must say, it lifted my spirits to know, that he was planning, that far in advance. He also showed me how to read the scans that he gave me last week. Unfortunately, I left the DVD in Vermont so I can’t post any this evening.
So, all and all, it was a good day. I feel excellent, I had the energy to work a full day, even though it was broken into two parts, a few hours apart. Appetite was good, sleep pattern was close to normal … what else could I ask for? Maybe a lower cell phone bill?
Ah! … almost forgot… I also asked the technicians what those big glass or clear acrylic molds were. There’s a rack of them in the proton room, and they’re in the shape of the tumor. They really look like something from outer space …. strangest looking things. She told me that they were resistors for the protons. Here’s how it works:
The protons come out of the barrel at a known speed, and will travel for a known distance without resistance at that speed. The glass disks are carved out to varying degrees of depth, in the precise shape of the tumor or target … exactly. So some protons are traveling through 3 inches of acrylic and others are traveling only through an inch. When the protons leave the barrel, hit the disk, it slows them to the proper speed, so that they reach the target and detonate is exactly in the right spot. This way, the entire tumor is hit in a three dimensional way, all at the same time. Amazing technology, no room for error.
On the way home, I turned on the radio and heard a great old song I hadn’t heard in a long time. It was by a band called “Rare Earth”, and the tune was:
“I Just Want To Celebrate, Another Day Of Living” … I sang all the way home!
A picture for Alberic!
Does anybody know this guy? Hi Alberic!
