Lesser Frequency: Saturday, November 07, 2009
If you notice, at the top, of right-hand sidebar, is a notice that states “Starting Nov 8th, 2009 this blog will be updated on a less frequent, irregular, basis”. There are a lot of reasons why this needs to be, or why it should happen, and here are some of those reasons.
First off, let me state why I enjoy writing this blog so much. There are several legitimate (at least to me) reasons I’ve been keeping it up so heavily and regularly. For one, my personal reading habits are such, that I only truly enjoy reading “real life” stories. I don’t know why that is … but I’ve been that way for as long as I can remember.
To me, this is a “real life” story … it just happens to be mine and happening to me, but it could’ve been anyone’s and have drawn my interest. I’ve never really tried to write very much before because I never really had much, that I thought would be interesting to others, to write about. Not that I’ve lead a boring life, not by any means, but things like this just don’t happen everyday and I had a huge personal interest and investment, in learning about what I was facing.
The tough thing in this case was, that there isn’t much data or information out there on the cancer I have, and even worse, was the amount of data on the treatment path (proton) I decided to take. I thought, besides keeping family and friends up to date, it may be a collection of information, bot factual and emotional, that someday, someone else, may benefit from reading.
As it turns out, I’ve had wonderful responses from people around the globe (yeah, really), that have either faced cancer themselves, or their loved ones have, or just about any combination of parent, friend, relative, relationship you can think of. I even got responses from people that I’ve known a long time, about their experiences, that I never knew, they had had. Simply wonderful to see people open with their own personal involvement’s and stories.
It has truly opened up a whole new world for me to learn and live about, and at fifty-six years old, that’s not an easy feat! I love this, and I feel like I have helped, and can continue to help, myself and others to better understand cancer and the emotional effects it has on family, friends, finances, … I can’t think of a part of life that it doesn’t effect.
So why slow down the writing?
Well, it’s truly a matter of balancing time and energy, with the necessary things that life demands to survive. I could continue on forever, or as long as I was able to write or talk. I mean, … yes, I could probably write an entire book about this rare cancer and the experiences and emotions that I go through on a daily basis. The doctors, technicians, how Sher has helped, support from all of you, … it just never ends. Look at the experiences I’ve had and am continuing to have … this is powerful, life altering stuff and it deserves to be told. It needs to be told.
Before this blog started (and before the cancer), I had an incredibly full schedule and life, more then full I should say. Sher and I ran several busy websites, we had a small but growing business running web servers, we did several weekly radio shows, volunteered to help run public radio stations, we partook in groups and organizations, and I had a full time job! That’s not considering our home, children, cats, dogs, woods (property), and all the other things that are required to operate life.
It was beyond full and very rewarding, we loved all the work that kept us so busy. However, since the cancer, so much of my time has been absorbed by trying to build myself back to a state of reasonable healthiness, that most of my activities has been “put on hold”.
Beginning with the second week of November, I want to start getting back into, my work (job), my radio work, and my business. They have all somewhat suffered from a few months of basically what may be considered neglect. Necessary neglect, but none the less, neglect.
I’m torn … I’m torn between all the things that I love to do, including writing this blog, but unfortunately, there just isn’t enough time to do it all, and still make enough money to keep our family eating and functioning in a proper fashion.
So, I’ve decided to slow this blog down to one or two posts a week, or whenever something important happens that directly effects the outcome of my cancer treatment. I also feel this will allow me to produce stronger, more knowledgeable pieces of writing, that can be shared with others, in hopes that they will benefit from them, as much as I have, from writing them.
It has been so supporting and rewarding to have written so much of this personal material, and then, to have shared it with friends and family, and in return, they have supplied me with enough psychological support, to make it through these toughest of times … and it ain’t over yet!
I still have a long ways to go, we’re not even half through the cancer treatments. There are months and hopefully years of “after treatment” scans and tests, constant monitoring to see if the cancer is showing up elsewhere in me, and of course, last but not least, the living of rest of my life, with this cancer. It’ll always be with me.
So, understand that I’m not abandoning this blog, my goal is to make it stronger and more powerful, and a resource for others that may someday find themselves in the same or a similarly surprising situation as I did. We’re all getting older, together.
Stay tuned in, there is much more to come, it’s simply going to come at you in a slower, clearer pace then it has been. I now have an insatiable appetite for knowledge about this cancer and the way that it effects my life and those around me.
Comments welcome.
