Maybe you just had to be there: Thursday, November 12, 2009
Today was an interesting day at the Hospital, usually, I receive “a treatment”, then sometimes a quick visit with a nurse (where she does a weight check, blood pressure, all the standard stuff plus a few questions daily), and then a bit of time with Doc for general discussion, but today was different.
I was visited by three nurses, a different doctor, and then my regular nurse, and Doc Delaney. Now for those of you who don’t know, Massachusetts General is also a teaching hospital, and what a great place to have one. Directly in their neighborhood is Harvard, M.I.T., Tufts, Cambridge, Northeastern and a slew of other great schools that allow the hospital to have a giant pool of bright young people to draw from. It couldn’t have been planned better. I mean, this is one of the primary reasons they are so successful.
It was interesting, because they basically all asked very similar questions in their developing professional way, but also in an individualistic, human way. I could clearly see which ones had more human emotion attached to their voices and mannerism’s, and those that didn’t. Hmmm … now what the hell does that mean?
Prior to this cancer story, I’d never spent much time around healthcare professionals in a professional setting that is. Yes, of course I occasionally went to see a doctor, and all the standard stuff, but I never spent a lot of time with them, never seeing them everyday, day after day, never getting to know, or see the human or personal side of them, like I am being allowed to now.
It’s a strange thing to say, but I’ve never before felt or experienced the human and/or compassionate side of a doctor or nurse, or technician. Maybe you can say, “well why would you have”, which is true in a sense. I mean you may get a degree of compassionism from your family doctor that you’ve known for a long time, but this is somehow different.
Maybe it’s the hospital atmosphere, or maybe that it’s a cancer ward and many are in deeper trouble then I am, and maybe I’m not capturing the right words as to what it is. And it may simply be that I have never experienced it because I’d never been in a situation that required enough time to be spent with them before. Maybe it’s the reason they became healthcare individuals … to help people.
But I do believe, that it is, that human side of the individual healthcare professional, that makes one better, then another. If, you can call it that.
OK, so where’s this going? Today, within a three hour period, I saw and spoke with a total of six doctors and nurses (not counting the five on the technical equipment team for treatment). That’s a lot! … when’s the last time you’ve had that happen? Ever? For some reason, I was sort of “in tune” with watching the way, they were seeing me as a patient for the first time. I’ve never had the opportunity to do this before to rapidly experience that many at once..
I sort of stepped outside of my body, as they spoke with me, so that I could see them, speaking with me from another point of view. Maybe I was interviewing them at the same time.
Now I don’t know if these total newbies on the job, or semi-experienced, or what state of their career they were in. However, and why ever, I watching this side of them, as they spoke to me, I can’t really say or understand … I just was.
I observed at the same time, several different things. For one, I recognized that two of the nurses seemed more genuine in their care towards me, then the other. Define genuine? Caring, wanting to know, asking questions, prodding answers … mining for information from the patient, all during the time that they are weighing, taking blood pressure, etc etc.
The other, did the same things, but without the heavy questioning, without the enthusiasm? But, she did get all the same data … sort of. I wonder. Was this one more professional in a sense? … maybe that could be argued.
The most intense at this, was the new doctor! Now she asked a lot of questions and a quick exam, as though I was one of her regular patients. In five minutes, she knew quite a bit about me. Impressive, and with that same human touch. She was good, ready for primetime without a doubt.
Now, I don’t really know, and maybe it’s a matter of opinion, but somehow, the doctors and nurses that had the stronger human-compassionate side, I perceived as to having done a better job. But I’m not really confident, that’s true … my perceptions are true … but did they really do a better job?
Maybe you just had to be there to feel it. As a patient, it was an interesting experience and one I hope I get to repeat again before I leave MGH.
What an odd day, what an odd thing to do … watch them, watching me.
