Sleepy and Me – Pushing Your Limits: Thursday, May 20, 2010
The other day I wrote a little bit about “pushing the limits” after cancer treatments and I thought I’d comment a bit more about it. I think it’s an important subject to look at, just about everybody that receives any type of cancer treatment, is effected by low energy or will be.
It’s literally a daily battle, and I believe there can be several reasons to suffer from lower energy levels, then those you might say you’d normally have. Some of it is literally physical and some of it can be can be psychological and both, can be equally as dangerous to your health.
Before being actually diagnosed with cancer I felt my energy level dropping. I attributed that to age, and working really hard all the time. Long hours, raising a child, running a business, being involved with several groups, doing radio shows etc. etc. Busy, … sixteen to eighteen hour days were common and a ten hour work day was like taking a day off. No kidding.
Not unlike most people, this went on for years. So long in fact that I really didn’t notice what I was doing. Burning the candle at both ends doesn’t begin to describe the lifestyle. It’s crazy when I think about now, but that’s what life was like then, and it wasn’t long ago.
So last August when I was diagnosed with cancer, it was one of the most difficult things for me to deal with and face up to … and to be completely honest, I’m still dealing with it. Slowing down, letting things go, wasn’t in my vocabulary. Was my body telling me it needed to rest?
My doctor sure was … well after he rushed me off for treatment that is.
During treatment, the radiation was so overpowering that I couldn’t do anything but sleep. I’ll probably never
know for sure what percentage, of that amount of sleep, was due to needing rest, and what was caused by the treatment … but I slept more then, than at any other time in my life, by ten-fold.
On a daily basis, after being treated (which took about two to three hours a day including travel time), I’d go back to where I was staying and go back to sleep, and I mean sleep. I was literally sleeping close to twenty hours a day! I think back now and still find it hard to believe.
I’d sleep for ten or so hours, drive to the Proton Center, get treated, drive back home and go back to sleep for ten more hours, and get up and do it again. It was almost embarrassing.
Of course radiation at the levels I was receiving, was causing a lot of this … it is without question exhausting. I don’t care how tough you think you are … it’s going to affect you. You may get away with it for the first week or so … but eventually, it’ll catch up with you.
I’m getting sleepy just writing about this and re-living it!
I think part of my problem was that I started off exhausted to begin with … but then who isn’t over working these days. I mean you basically have to be if you’re going to survive in today’s world.
Who’s idea was it anyway? the idea that we work all day, and every day in order to simply feed our families. What a ridiculous way to live! But we do, and we do it everyday. I curse the bastard that came up with eight, ten and twelve hour work day. Our entire economy is based on it. But let’s not get off on the political reasons why life is the way it is … for the sake of this writing let’s just understand that in this country we work too much, and too inefficiently, and that’s that.
Any young couple raising a family today is suffering for more reasons than I can put in this post … but they’re especially suffering from being over-worked or under-paid. I know families where both parents are working two jobs each and they’re barely able to afford to keep up … and that’s a crime. Who’s raising the kids?
While we’re off topic, I’m listening to the news while I’m writing this and it’s so freakin’ discouraging to hear all these stories about BP and the Gulf oil leak, Illegal Immigrants, the financial crisis, the wars in Pakistan and Afghanistan (yep, we’re still at war, in fact it’s been pretty constant since ahhh 1776?), BPA plastic in our drinking bottles, Autism in our kids, the evil Monsanto corporation, and the list can on for-ever. Our children are getting dumber and dumber, our society is falling apart and the main headline news is covering more and more on Tiger Woods then anything else.
What’s wrong with this picture? Talking about the Gulf oil leak, here’s one the things that really got to me today. On the news they said that a “cap” of seventy-five million dollars was what a company like BP was liable for, when it came to paying restitution for people’s livelihoods that were affected by the oil spill. We’re talking about the entire Gulf Coast of the United States.
BP profits are approximately ninety-three million dollars a day. Now, you tell me who in our government signed off on that deal? Which one (or group) of our wonderful politicians thought that’d cover the tab? How do deals like that get signed off on … and don’t tell it’s Obama’s fault. Can you say lobbyists? or payola?
Ok, ok … I don’t want to drift off on politics, we were talking about young couples trying to raise a family in today’s world. No, no, we were talking about the effects of cancer treatments including chemo, radiation etc.
Back on topic:
Now, add to this therapy induced sleepiness, that you’re usually not feeling very well, and you begin to get the idea, of just the side-effects of cancer treatment. At the same time … your body is working overtime fighting the cancer that running through your veins! So there are plenty of physical reasons why one might experience exhaustion during treatment.
Then there’s the psychological effect of having cancer. Or are you too “cool” to admit that something could have a psychological effect on you? While this may not appear to a factor immediately, it will be. It can have an incredibly powerful, almost depressing effect on you, and that alone can be draining, big time. Even if you’re keeping the spirits high (and you should be), it is still a force you have to deal with.
Now I’m saying this negatively or trying to frighten you, I mean it. Day after day, you slowly realize that having cancer isn’t like having a cold, or a sore throat, … not even the measles. You won’t wake up in a few days from and get over it, not even in a few weeks, … not even when they tell you, “you’re clean” or in submission.
At night, in bed, when it’s quiet and you’re alone with your thoughts, wondering if all these treatments of chemicals , radiation, injections , and scans are actually doing any good. It starts to “sink in” that this is for-ever. You’ll have to deal with cancer for the rest of your days.
I should say here, that this is one of the most important reasons why you should put as much effort as you possibly can, in keeping your spirits high, without getting carried away with thinking you’re miraculously cured. I’ve said before in this blog that I don’t believe in the positive thought theory (here’s the link ) and I still hold that to be true. Maybe the key here is finding a happy medium.
Don’t believe for a moment that if you go through a few treatments and everything will be great again, and don’t think you’re going to die in three days either.
Take some time and measure up your situation. Understand where you’re at. Start working at, or completing some of those goals you’ve always had, but never had the time to accomplish. Even if it’s something silly like throwing out all those boxes of stuff in the basement or attic.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to do something, something that meant something to you personally … what-ever that is.
Maybe this is a good place to stop for the time being. Know that energy is going to be low, and know that you can still do things that require energy, but that you simply need to adjust. We’ll discuss this again.
There’s a reason they call it “living with cancer”.
