Chondrosarcoma – ah shit, bob's sick

This morning, once again, as often happens, I woke up with a song running through my head like an old steam train barreling down the tracks at top speed, funny how that happens every now and then, and I have no idea why. Haven’t heard the song in a long, long time, but I can remember the words like it was yesterday that I had. I just couldn’t get it out of my head, that deep, rich voice resonated through my mind as I made my way towards the morning coffee pot.

Yep, it was an old Johnny Cash song called “Five Feet High and Rising”. The true story about the Cash family farm (Dyess, Arkansas) in the 1937 Mississippi River flood and how the water kept rising until the chickens, cows and everything else farm, were under water.

At one point, as Johnny Cash’s father (Ray Cash) recalled the story, he walked into the house to pull some last things out before the flood entirely took over, and saw that the farm’s hens had moved straw into the house and made new nests on the living room couch and were laying their eggs.

Pouring my first coffee of the morning, I just had to sing a line of the chorus, I tried to sing quietly (Sher was still asleep), yet in the deepest tone I could muster, I blurted out:
‘How high’s the water Mama?’, ‘two-foot high and rising’.
‘How high’s the water Papa?’, ‘She said, it’s two-foot high and rising’.

Can you see this image in your minds eye? A young farm boy asking his mother how high the water was rising. A young boy perhaps, but old enough to know there was trouble ahead. Can you see the fear in his eyes? … fear of the unknown… and it was still raining hard, pouring in fact, as Mama was gathering the few precious family treasures to take.

I took a big gulp from my coffee cup and still humming the tune, began to realize it wasn’t so much just the words or the literal meaning of the song that were stuck in my head, but more of the feeling the song was implying, … that of the rising water all around you, and no safe place to turn to. The inability to move toward a higher ground … that’s what was hitting home.

It wasn’t long ago I was experiencing a similar feeling, the feeling that water was rising all around me in an almost hopeless effort to save what was left of my health and prolong life itself. It may not have been a flood of water that rising around me, but it was a flood of information and a quick life saving decision that had to be made. It was a decision I didn’t want to make, but had to. There was no higher ground, and the waters kept rising.

Still tired, I half-mumbled out another piece of the next chorus …
‘How high’s the water Mama?’, ‘three-foot high and rising’.
‘How high’s the water Papa?’, ‘She said, it’s three-foot high and rising’.

We were still trying to gather as much information about chondrosarcoma as we could … and having a hard time finding anything useful. Hours and days went by and the water kept rising slowly.

Doctors appointments, doctors opinions, suggestions, planned surgeries, hospitals, insurance, family, friends, kids, pets … yikes!, would it ever stop?

And again …
‘How high’s the water Mama?’, ‘four-foot high and rising’.
‘How high’s the water Papa?’, ‘She said, it’s four-foot high and rising’.

Then the trips to Boston, and along with it came, radiation sickness, burns, scars, winter driving, the holiday season,

And again …
‘How high’s the water Mama?’, ‘five-foot high and rising’.
‘How high’s the water Papa?’, ‘She said, it’s five-foot high and rising’.

Well, it’s been a year since this blog was started. Can you believe that? Yep, last year back in August (August 15th to be precise), Alberic and I decided on the name AhShitBobsSick.com and purchased the domain name … and some three-hundred twenty posts later, here we are. Although the water is no longer rising at the moment, nor has it subsided.

How high’s the water Mama?

Mama?

Taken 8/11/2010 Bellowsfalls, Vt.
Click the pic for larger view.