Chondrosarcoma – ah shit, bob's sick

One morning this past week on my way to work, I stopped at a local convenience store to grab a quick coffee before heading in. I usually keep my money in my pocket as opposed to my wallet, but for some reason that wasn’t the situation this morning, it was in my wallet. Not being completely awake, I took my wallet out to pay for my coffee, pulled a few dollars out, and half placed it on the counter while the young female clerk worked on getting my change.

The clerk, as she was handing me the change back suddenly smiled and blurted out, “that’s what I want … one of those”, and she pointed downward towards the counter near my wallet. For a moment, or I should say, that it took a moment, for what she had said to register, and then I still didn’t know or realize exactly what she was pointing or referring too.

I politely smiled back, … and then for a moment, my eyes and mind didn’t know where or what to focus on. It was only a split second, although it felt much longer and frankly, it was beginning to feel awkward. Well not really awkward but I didn’t want to appear stupid either!

I’m sure, for anyone that’s ever worked in that type store, that days can go by that are just full of funny, odd, weird, customer situations. I’d think you’d have to have a good sense of humor to work in the average convenience store .

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This past week or two I’ve written quite a few articles for posting but haven’t had the time to put them up. It’s been such a busy end of summer season. One on the enjoyment of NetFlix and one on Digital Camera’s which I’ll probably be posting over the weekend, but I just had to post this one first.

When I got home from work today, Sher sent me a link to this article. It’s the first mention of Chondrosarcoma that I’ve seen since my own experiences with it. This is the “other” option that I had, the one I didn’t take … and I still have full confidence on my decision. I wish her the best of luck.
There are two articles, with links to the originals … I’ve cut and pasted them here because so many times the articles on news sites seems to disappear.

One of the things I find amazing is that there is absolutely no mention of Proton Therapy. It sounds like the doctors gave her a choice too: surgery or death … it makes me wonder … really wonder.

Article 1:
‘Cut-in-Half’ Mom Says She’s Doing Just FineUpdated: 2 hours 10 minutes ago
AOL News (Sept. 24, 2010) – So complete was her faith that she’d be just fine, Janis Ollson didn’t wake her children or say goodbye on the morning surgeons were scheduled to cut her in half.

“We went in and both of us were at peace. There weren’t a lot of tears shed,” she said of the day she and her husband walked into the Mayo Clinic for a never-done-before surgery that would separate her body so doctors could remove half of her pelvis, one leg, her coccyx and part of her lower spine.

Ollson, surrounded by her two children and husband, Daryl, appeared this morning on NBC’s “Today” show to talk about the ground-breaking surgery to remove a fast-growing, rare cancer that had invaded her lower body while she was pregnant with her son Leiland, 3, who was delivered by cesarean section before the operation.

The 31-year-old mother from Manitoba, Canada, wasn’t afraid. “I knew my options were either do the surgery or certain death,” she said. Her husband wasn’t always so certain.

“I was a mess. I couldn’t tell you today how I made it through,” he said, holding a squirming and sleepy-eyed Leiland.

The Ollsons have become somewhat famous after Janis agreed to appear in ads for the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn.

Leiland clearly wasn’t impressed with all the attention. “I want to go home, daddy,” he said, sliding to the floor during the “Today” interview. His big sister, Braxtyn, 7, rubbed her eyes and yawned.

More than three years after her surgery, Janis said she is cancer-free and feels good. At home, she zips
around in a wheelchair. An artificial leg and a prosthesis that fits around her waist allow her to walk with cane.She drives her daughter to school on an ATV.

The couple renewed their wedding vows in May, on their 10th anniversary, and Janis, leaning on Daryl in a long white gown and bolstered by a cane, was able to walk down the aisle.

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Finally a Three-Day Weekend!

Well I was really looking forward to this weekend! Three whole days off from everything … no work, no nothing. I figured I could finally get a few things done around the house, maybe a little work on the website, oh and maybe even work on my Cancer Tracker a little. Alberic wasn’t here this weekend so I usually take advantage of that time and get as much done as possible. Instead, somehow I managed to sleep the whole weekend away! Oh well, guess I needed it … sure feeling well now though!

Damn, Just What I Needed!

Truth be told, my weekend didn’t really start off sleeping like that … it started like this. I had gotten home from work a little early on Friday and thought I’d try and get to bed a bit early so that I could start my weekend off trying to do some of these little things I’ve been trying to do. With three days off in a row I figured I’d get some things done and some rest too … right? That balance that I struggle to keep going without reaching exhaustion isn’t always easy to find.

I got up early Saturday morning feeling pretty energetic and decided I’d cut some of the lawn (hopefully for the last time this year), so I went out into the barn and started the tractor. Now, anytime I plan to do something like this these days (but this I mean physical work), I take a dose of medicine before I start. The idea behind this is that I know I’ll be sore and hurting later … so I put the meds to work right away. Even though it’s strong stuff and does affect your judgment ( I never drive and take this stuff), doing little things around the house always seems to go OK. I may work a little slower, but that’s OK … I simply take my time and get the job done.

Sher wanted to run to store and grab some items for dinner and said she’d be back in a few minutes. So it left the dog, cats, and myself at home. Now you have to understand that our dog is really attached to Sher, she literally freaks out every time Sher leaves the house. She doesn’t go totally crazy, but she cries and whimpers while she waits for Sher to return.

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It’s been an unbelievably busy few weeks (it’s almost a month since I’ve posted anything) … with summer drawing to a close, the gardens finishing up, school starting and the beginning of winter preparations, it seems almost unfair that summer goes by so quickly. I can see the days are already getting shorter and as the length of sunlight shortens with each day, I feel less and less prepared for another fall and winter.

As my “todo” list continues getting longer, my energy levels certainly don’t seem to be keeping pace. As I look at the stack of mail, forms, credit card offers, catalogs, school papers and everything else on my desk, I feel stressed about keeping up with it all … but life must go on … right?

Just the stack of papers and forms Alberic brought home from the first day of school was simply over-whelming. Filling out your name and address twenty times (once for each form), just seems so unnecessarily wasteful. Couldn’t it be done just once?, can’t the school departments share information?

It seems this past year that Sher and I have spent more time filling out paperwork then we have anything else … and I feel bad about that … and worse yet, I don’t like supporting cutting down all those trees for such ridiculous reasons. It just isn’t a good enough system.

So this evening I decide to push it all to the side and write what I felt like writing and getting the other stuff off my mind for a bit.

This past weekend (even though we were already too busy) we had one of Sher’s children and a few their friends spend a couple days at our house. It was fun to see them and they had a blast with Alberic playing games both inside and out. One of the inside games we played was RockBand, and it was the first time that we played with four and five people. We really had a band going with two guitars, two microphones, drums and a bass guitar … lot of fun.

We ripped through the Beatles CD and a ton of downloaded tunes from the RockBand store. Great fun with everyone taking turns playing and singing. I must admit that Alberic (even though he was the youngest), had them pretty much beat. He is truly catching the grasp of what music is all about … and I think that’s cool.

Playing music is something that was in my house as a youngster and I believe it’s a great way for a family to spend time together. Like riding a bicycle, it’s something you never forget … you may get out of practice … but you don’t forget.

Health wise, I’ve been feeling “on again, off again”. Every time I feel like I’m building my strength and energy levels back up, I seem to get “pushed” back down again by one thing or another. We’ve had a few recent situations that have caused me (both Sher and I) some serious concern, but I decided to hold off a bit (not see the doctor) and see how things developed, in hindsight, I can now say, I’m glad I did. But it’s a tricky, risky, situation and maybe not the wisest thing to do. I’m not really sure.

It’s strange, but I feel obligated to explain myself and express my deepest thoughts on the way(s) that I may, or may not, refuse or accept, any further treatment for physical or mental changes, in a timely manner, if certain situations were to arise.

Understand what I’m saying?

Decisions like this are very personal and I am well aware that a price (whether it be large or small) is to be paid each time a situation comes up. I feel (I should say, I know), that the chances are great, that many more of these instances are to come in the future and that it’s of the utmost importance that it be understood for the sake of sanity in our household, , and those that work to help me maintain a reasonable quality of life.

Living with cancer requires a different level or kind of thought to manage life’s responsibilities. You tend to focus on the short term, you have to, there is always that little voice in the back of your head, that reminds you … “this isn’t going to last forever”. It’s a safety switch to be honest.

A safety switch in the sense that it prevents you from looking at unrealistically long term projects. It keeps you focused by forcing you to stay on top of what you have going and not drift into other things you’ll never finish.

Between you and I, I am not in a hurry to make anymore big changes in my life because for me, there is no going back, there’s no time … no time to waste that is.

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Seemed so quiet around the house today. It’s been a long time since I’ve spent any time alone at home. Sher has gone South to see relatives for a few days and Alberic has headed off to Summer Camp for a week. So it’s me, two cats, and a dog for the next few days! You heard right … I’m fending for myself and doing damn well at it too .

So what did I do with all this time on my hands? Well, today’s weather was just the perfect Vermont summer day. There’s a wonderful breeze, about seventy-five to eighty degrees and just simply lovely. What a day to be alive! I decided I’d take a short walk through our woods and check things out.

I haven’t walked our property very much this past year and with no one around I could take my time, move at my own pace, and rest whenever I wanted to. Not that others rush me, but I always feel obliged to try and keep up with others and not slow the pace too much.
For those that walk through the woods now and then, you know the forest and streams are always changing. They grow and the stream change shape with new twists and turns. New trees and plants pop up, and you can usually see the tracks of deer and moose and others that pass through in search of food, water and refuge.

I love walking the forest and the peace of mind that comes from spending time there. I mean just think about the word forest … “for-rest” … need I say more? I always feel like I can think clearer after a walk, I’m more in touch with myself, my emotions, and it always increases creative thought. After walking through the woods I always want to spend the rest of my day writing, painting or playing music. For me, it’s the biggest “turn on” when it comes to creativity and keeping that edge sharp.

Today I took my camera and walked the trails I’ve cut and maintained over the years. The ponds and streams were full of fish, frogs and others, splashing as I walked by as if to say “come join us”. One section of the trail follows the stream a distance and it was simply incredible to see all the life in the water. That’s one of the great things about having ponds and stream to walk … everything in the forest comes for water, so it’s always lively. I crossed a deer run and saw those fresh little “rasinettes” as evidence that they’d recently traveled through on their way to drink.

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