Chondrosarcoma – ah shit, bob's sick

It’s Friday, I made through a whole week of work (Mon. thru Fri) and I feel very good about that … actually, I feel great about it. I am a bit tired, I admit that … but happy. I also attended a meeting to day about this awesome video conferencing software. I should say software and hardware. What a great solution for companies that have logistical meeting problems. It was expensive, but I can see it saving a lot of money too. I believe it will be worth the investment in the long term.

Today there were several things that happened, allowing us to move closer to the reality of getting the proton therapy going.

The first was that we received a letter from Blue Cross/Blue Shield requesting more information from my primary care doctor, Dr. Gary Clay. They were basically asking why I was being referred to an out of state doctor and why I wasn’t having the therapy done at Dartmouth Med Center in NH.

Sher called Dr. Clay’s office and explained that the reason this was chosen is because neither Vermont nor New Hampshire have proton therapy equipment. Dr. Clay replied he would take care of that immediately.

The next thing that happened was that we received an email from Dr. Delaney in Boston stating that he was beginning the proton intake process (starting to arrange it), and that his office would be in touch with me shortly. Thanks Doc!

So, we are assuming that both doctors have the same goal in mind and that is … making this happen for me. And that my friends, is a beautiful thing. Soon I should be able to start planning my stay in Boston.

I feel really lucky to even have a chance at this … you know, just all the pieces fell into place as if it were supposed to be that way. That’s the way both Sher and I feel about it, and as I explain it to different people, they really begin to understand why I’ve made the decisions I have. My feeling of confidence in making the right decision has riased from 99% to a full 100%.
Here’s a very short poem titled: Be gentle … if you should ever leave

Ancient peoples knew,
and lovers with a bias,
Emily made it clear,
a wounded deer leaps the highest.

Be gentle with my heart …

That’s it for today. It’s mushroom tea time!

One of the things that’s been driving me crazy from the get-go of this cancer thing, is that there seems to be “0″ as in zero, support or support groups, for young children with a parent that has cancer. If there are any, they awfully well hidden. If I it make through all this, and I still have any energy left, even close to what I’ve had before, THAT is where I’m going to focus it.

It’s an unbelievable feeling to sit in a doctor’s office and be told you only have a short time to live and you’d best rush to get all your “ducks in a row” … but that’s nothing, it pales, in comparison to going home and telling your family. But wait, it gets even worse when you have to explain to your children. The words “Dad has cancer” just don’t want to come out of your mouth. They can’t, they stick somewhere between your heart and your brain and they dribble out of the corner of your mouth jumbled like a bag of bad letters in a Scrabble game.

Its amazing how poorly we’re prepared for an event like introducing cancer into a child’s world. Yet it’s so common. According to the state of Vermonts most recent online report on health statistics, there are more then 26,000 Vermonters currently living with some sort of cancer. Granted, they are all not life threatning, but they certainly are life altering … and wow! no support groups for the kids. That ain’t right my friends … that’s just not good enough.

Cancer is a “hard” word to most adults to say … they don’t want to hear. It’s absolutely terrifying to a child.

It’s gotten me angry.  Yeah, there are a few books and pamphlets out there … but that don’t cut it for kids.