Finally got some of that well needed yard work and winterizing done. One thing that was very helpful to find out, is that I never did a lot of the original “setting up for summer” stuff I usually do in the first place. I simply hadn’t realized it! You might think that’s strange or odd that I wouldn’t know what was out in my yard and grounds … but to be honest, I haven’t really looked since I’d been diagnosed, and haven’t had the time or energy to do anything about it anyway. So, today I decided to start and tackle what was out there and to my surprise it wasn’t quite as bad as I thought. Is that positive thing? J Sher of course, came out and lent a hand and although we didn’t finish, we did put a big dent in what needed doing.
Many folks have still been writing about the “positive thinking” issue and I have to tell you, that all this makes great reading and writing on everyones part. I thank YOU for that. It really is, an issue of concern, because someday it will probably effect each and every one of us in some way. There’s no escaping it.
I believe there are times when positive thinking is absolutely the way to go, and other times when the reality of the situation, can not be, and should not be, over-ridden by positive thought type thinking. Sometimes the situation calls for a clear look at the reality of the moment. There are indeed many, many cases that “positive thought”, no matter how much you try, just won’t help. I see them everyday. People are dying, and in pain, and our society is not helping them nearly enough. These people aren’t failures of the “positive thought” culture! They are victims of a disease, a cancer.
Many have lost everything, and have nearly no loved ones to care, or relations to help … and maybe they don’t want the help any longer, maybe their time is up and they’re simply waiting. Positive thought won’t help these cases … maybe it was once there, but the reality of the situation has taken over, and they’ve given up. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing … it’s a real thing.
They too, were once vibrant lives that have been slowly put out, as if by a candle snuffer, but the wick is still slightly smoldering … do you think you’d have much “positive thought” left? I don’t.
We are complex creatures, and these are complex issues we’re dealing with to say the least, I for one have found myself torn in my thinking. I noticed for example, that while writing, sometimes my thoughts come in, almost as a surrealistic view, as if I’m on the outside, looking in and observing, rather then living it.
I find that rather odd, and can’t quite say what that’s all about. Is that a part of “positive thinking”? … removing myself from the real situation, and there-fore, allowing myself to “think positive” so that I can write?
Observing as if it weren’t happening to me … is that hiding the fact? Hiding the fact that there’s a good chance in a short period of time, I may be right where the others are at. This is the reality, and frankly, it’s not very positive. I’m not necessarily negative about it, but not positive either … it is, what it is.
Again, and I repeat myself from a previous post, that success in cancer treatment has really nothing to do with positive thought. It has to do with positive action, catching it in time, early diagnosis, quick action on your doctor’s part. I think positive thought plays a role in what’s left after your bout with cancer, and in re-building yourself … but not in success of treatment.
First you have to survive, then, use positive thought to rebuild yourself … that I understand. Clearly. Rehab houses should use positive thought
I’m not saying that you should run down the streets of Boston dramatically screaming “I’m dying, I’m dying” … noooooo, no, but you should have a clear view of the fact, that you probably are dying, or that you might die, and if you’re not, this is probably going to be the culprit that will take you out in the end. And that, that end, is much closer then you ever imagined it was. It’s coming at you, and you can’t stop it.
When a doctor tells you that you have “x” amount of time to live, whether that’s a few weeks, or years, he telling you that, so you can begin to prepare and tidy up the messy stuff in life. He’s telling you what’s happening, what’s happening according to the knowledge he has at the time. Doctors don’t enjoy that, and they don’t tell you to think positive, they tell you to get ready.
Had my doctor fooled around with being gentle and told me with postitive thought in mind, I may have ignored the situation longer and my cancer would have advanced even further then it did. There was no time to fool around my friends, no time to play … it was time for action!
I’m not saying this is true in every case, but it certainly is, in cases like mine.
You know, if you sit in the cancer center, and look around, you can see who has a life threatning cancer, and who is there for, say something light, like a prostrate cancer treatment. Look in their eyes and you’ll know, talk to one them for 5 minutes and you’ll know who is, and who isn’t, literally, slowly dying. Don’t think for a moment that it’s all depressing and all that, …. it’s not, but it is, what it is and we can’t change that without more science and understanding.
Personally, the only time I find it unbearably depressing is when it’s a young child fighting to survive, for a life he or she hasn’t really lived yet. That’s depressing and sad to me … not the rest of it.
I don’t know, and I’m not sure, that any of this actually matters. I think what I think, and write what I write, and try to capture those first thoughts or actions as best I can, and as fast as I can, for the sake of unfiltered writing. After all, this is all real life, and positive or not, catastrophic failure is a real possibility, and preparing for that, somehow seems more important then thinking positive, at times.
Positive thinking, may allow me to mentally remove myself from the situation, and allow me to observe what’s going on, as if it weren’t happening to me … but at night, when the lights go out, it’s just me, I can already hold hands with the cancer, become friends with the enemy, and be at peace within myself, when and if necessary.
Note:
Positive Thought is not a bad thing by any means, it has a time and place to be, but where and when, I simply haven’t experienced yet.
